BrokenHearted Read online

  “I know you do. But sometimes, it is nice to hear it by you threatening murder. I mean that is true love, wouldn’t you say?” I ask.

  “And you are the only one I would do it for.”

  “I know it, and I would do the same for you.”

  “Ryann, I know you care wholeheartedly, and that is one of the things I love about you, but also one of the things that gets you hurts. Instead of jumping in headfirst, just see where it goes with Trevor. If it leads somewhere, it does, and if it doesn’t, then it doesn’t. It is his loss, not yours.”

  “Easier said than done. And yes, I know I care too much. But I haven’t for a long time. And I don’t feel bad for that.”

  “And you shouldn’t,” Sadie confirms.

  She knew how to protect herself from getting hurt. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the message as quick.

  * * *

  Trevor

  Left, right, left, right is what I focus on as my feet hit the gravel of the trail around Town Lake. This was the first time I was able to go since I had made it back to Austin and couldn’t wait to hit the trail. We got in five miles and probably would have done more had Maxwell actually ran instead of eyeing the women and yapping the entire time. Note to self—do not run with him!

  We had just stopped, allowing us to catch our breath. Sweat dripped down our faces and body as a testament to our workout and the heat.

  “Man, let’s go by Sadie’s real quick. She lives just down here.” He points at a high rise ahead.

  “She lives off Town Lake?”

  “Yeah, she is real into city living—the yoga, the deli, the walking everywhere, you name it. She even owns paddleboards.”

  “That’s cool.” Not really sure why they call them paddleboards. They are the exact damn same thing as surfboards.

  “Her place is nice. It makes mine look like an efficiency.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “She is on a totally different level.” We walk up to the high rise, and he stops. It is right off the water. He smiles as if he had something to do with it.

  “Damn, nice digs.” I smirk.

  “Advantage of dating a successful, active woman. She is even better in bed than she is in business. And her ass—”

  “Shh.” I hold up my finger to my mouth to shush him as I see Sadie and Ryann come walking up holding paddleboards.

  He bites on his knuckle to shut himself up and gets a glance of his woman soaking wet and laughing. I could see his drool admiring them.

  And I mean they are both SOAKING wet in their little bikinis. Ryann still wore a pair of shorts. These two women are polar opposite in every meaning of the word. Ryann, her long blond hair hung freely looking like a Californiagirl. She had the perfect amount of breasts—more than a handful is wasteful—and long tan legs that I would love to have wrapped …

  I interrupt my thoughts to listen to their conversation.

  “Let me tell you … just when he leaned up against me to kiss me, I could feel—”

  “Good God, Ryann, it could be the size of a lipstick tube, and you wouldn’t care since it has been so long. I’m shocked you even remember where it was located.”

  “That is not true. Just because I am not a hussy doesn’t mean—”

  “I am not a hussy, thank you. In fact, my game has gone way down since Maxwell.”

  I look over, and Max smiles. Fuck wad. We watch as Ryann removes her shorts, and my eyes move from her chest down her legs to her well-toned, round ass. Max sees me and agrees. I then get pissed and a frisson of jealousy that he witnessed the same thing.

  We wait until the girls are just about to enter the building before we sneak up behind them and scare them.

  “Good God! You two scared the living shit of me!” Ryann jumps.

  “What are y’all doing here?” Sadie asks smiling.

  “Came to see my woman,” Maxwell says kissing her. “So your game is down, huh?”

  “You eavesdropper!” she screeches.

  Ryann’s face seemed to look worried. She didn’t look as happy to see that we had heard the conversation. I smile at her hopefully easing some of her concern. Maybe I need to ease some of her ache. Lord knows I have one myself. Sex isn’t love. I know that for a fact.

  We follow them in the large building through the doorman where Sadie left the paddleboards asking him to store them until next time. He obliged and was happy to do it, also eyeing her body.

  We rode in the elevator in silence for a brief second to Sadie’s floor observing each other. Some of us making it clear, some not so much.

  As we enter Sadie’s place, I remind myself what I needed far more than … or at least I’ll tell myself that.

  “Could we get some water?” I was exhausted from the run, or maybe it was from drooling over Ryann. Same difference.

  “Sure,” Ryann responds knowing her way around the condo.

  She seems to be checking me out as much I was checking her out. I take off my shirt while she watches me to see if she continues to look interested. Yeah, it was an evil move, but I love it. And yes, she does.

  Her face turns pink, and she smiles biting her bottom lip. I burn that look into my memory and think of how beautiful she will look when I take her. If I let it get to that point, that is, and that was a big if. Not for lack of my body wanting her, that is for damn sure.

  “I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go find something to change into,” she announces.

  “You want help?” I ask, half playing, half serious not fully aware of my comment. She knew I liked her … I made that obvious at her place, but I hadn’t been so outright flirty with her.

  She turns and looks at me with a total look of shock and confusion.

  Maxwell interrupts his groping of Sadie. “You know what they say after a really good workout? It really gets the endorphins up and makes you horny? You want to let me take advantage of you?”

  “I told Ry I would spend time with her today, asshat, which, if you remember, I told you last night,” Sadie answers.

  “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if we disappear for fifteen minutes—”

  I hear Sadie trying to resist.

  “Wait a min—” And the bedroom door closes.

  I walk over to her slyly, feeling frisky and wanting to play. Hopefully, she is up for a little fun. What is it about her that brings out this living feeling in me? I want to live when I am around her, despite the regret that follows when I am alone. Was it a flirt, just feeling of being comfortable around her?

  I stand behind her and lean in to her neck. I breathe on her neck lightly, and I can see her shivering. Even sweaty and wet from the water, I could still smell the scent that was Ryann.

  She is a good four inches shorter than I am, and the perfect height for me to take advantage of her.

  “Are you cold?” I ask her.

  “A little. I was hoping to get out of these wet clothes.”

  I don’t say anything. Instead, I just untie her top from around her neck at the exact proximity of where I was breathing on her. I hold the parts together not releasing them. I want to rub my tongue right along her artery on her neck.

  I think about it for half a second and then do it. And she tastes exactly how I imagined … That isn’t true; she tastes better.

  I hold the top strings, not letting them fall while listening to her soft moan from pleasure.

  “Here are your strings.” And being the gentleman I am, I handed them to her. My fingers slid through hers. She held them for a second and then dropped them.

  That was all my control, for the bad voice to speak up, and I wouldn’t resist it. I turn her around so not only could I feel her, but I also wanted to see her, to feel her against my chest.

  I take her mouth and kiss her without worrying about breaking any boundaries or any regrets I would have. And she kisses me back.

  I can feel myself rising, and she notices as well. She starts to move against me, taking it all in.

  She is reeling me in,
and I was taking the bait willingly.

  I feared I had forgotten how to connect a good feeling. Hell, who am I lying to … an amazing feeling to my brain. But no … it was there. Dying to get out quite literally. Ryann … Ryann … Ryann …

  I pick her up to bring her flush with my body and carry her over to the couch. She doesn’t let go of me once, and her legs get tighter around my waist, pulling me closer and closer. I didn’t feel like I could get close enough to her. I wanted to be buried in her until I felt no air anywhere.

  I place my hands on her breasts and then lower my head so I can kiss them and then move back up to her face, making sure all of her body was getting attention.

  “That feels so good, Trevor.” Her voice is quiet but sexy, asking for more.

  She starts to untie the sides of her bikini bottoms, and I about lose it. I bite her bottom lip and suck on it then move back to her mouth, wanting to feel her tongue. I take it all in; I want all of her.

  She tries to reach her hand in my shorts, but they are too tight, suffocating the animal that was going to break out any minute.

  I break from her kiss and lean on my knee trying to untie them.

  She reaches her hand in my shorts and … that feels so good. I want to lay my head back and lift her on top of me so she can straddle me and let me in. If she has a problem with always needing control, where do I sign? She can have it. Take it all.

  She starts to move up and down, feeling my manhood with her hands, and I start moving my hand to touch her warmth. We are getting out of control. I knew it, she knew it, but neither of us could stop or wanted to stop. We wanted each other.

  I was ready, and she was too … We were ready, and I was willing if she was.

  “Ryann, are—”

  She pulls me down, holding me over her by wrapping her arms around me and locking me in place. “Yes …”

  She kisses me harder, confirming her acceptance.

  And then we hear the door.

  “Don’t mind me ... Carry on,” Maxwell says.

  I freeze. Totally frustrated. And Ryann with a beet red face tries to cover herself up. I grab the blanket from the back of the couch, shielding her.

  “You have impeccable timing, shithead,” I say.

  “I’m about ready to go when you are,” he says.

  I lean my forehead next to Ryann’s trying to catch my breath.

  “How can you be friends with him?” she says and laughs.

  “Right now, I am second-guessing that myself.”

  Ten

  Ryann

  “You remember we were talking about Trevor? The doctor who took care of Jackie in the hospital?”

  Most people will agree with me that a grown woman still doesn’t tell her mother some things, and what happened with Trevor last night was one of them. Although she would’ve been proud that I was moving on and finding a man. But I needed to confide in someone, and she had always been a great listener.

  “Of course, I remember. The one you said you didn’t like, but I knew that you did. Jackie called me the other day and confirmed my suspicions.”

  “I really like him … but I don’t think it is mutual. I think he likes me, but even if he wanted more, I don’t know if he would let it happen.”

  “Well, honey, keep trying … maybe … maybe not … but if you don’t try, you will never know.”

  “Can’t you come up with something better than that? Any ideas how I can show him I really like him?”

  “Nope. Just be you, Ry. I don’t know why any man in their right mind wouldn’t want you. But one thing is for sure. If he doesn’t want you, then he isn’t good enough for you.”

  “Who else would I be?”

  “Hopefully, he will come around. Sometimes, it just takes time.”

  “You are telling me this like you are an expert.”

  “Oh, sweet girl … I am more than you know.”

  “So I am not totally insane to like a guy who tells me that he will not be anything more than friends with me? Even though I know he wants more?”

  “No …it is human nature. If someone tells us we can’t have it, we want it more, right?”

  “But that’s not why I like him or want him in my life.”

  “I’m not saying it is, but that intrigues us whether we want to admit it or not. It is just the way we were made.”

  “What if I get hurt?”

  “What if you don’t? Ryann, you are always so positive. So why are you putting so much in to this?”

  “Because, for the first time since Jake, I found a man who I’m not only attracted to but also who I really like. He has me up, down, and sideways half the time, but I still like him.”

  “Maybe he just has things he is dealing with. I mean he is back in a town where he hasn’t lived for years from what Jackie said, his dad is sick, he has a new job that is probably very demanding and high pressure—”

  “It’s not any of those things, though. He said he is broken and won’t allow himself to love.”

  “I see. Those words are very familiar to what I have said before, and if I recall, what you have said before. Not verbatim but similar.”

  “And?” I ask not needing her to remind me.

  “And nothing. Like him, see where it goes, and for God’s sake, don’t rush it. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. Right?”

  “Right.” If I could just keep my heart patient.

  * * *

  Trevor

  While I loved staying at The Regency, it was nice to settle into my own place. I rented a furnished condo, and I was immensely pleased about it saving me the stress. I have never lived in something quite so nice and at the perfect proximity to work.

  Thermal windows lined the entire east side. They faced the city, bare without curtains to feature the city landscape and let in the natural light.

  Maxwell had offered to move me in, and I told him that I didn’t really have anything to move, but that didn’t stop him.

  “I brought some wings and beer. Your cable is hooked up, right?”

  “Hell, yes; it was the first thing hooked up.” We fist bump after he puts the paper bags down. He walks straight to the TV and turns it to Longhorn Sports Network for the game.

  He stands up and looks around the place nodding his approval and congratulating me on the good find.

  “This view is badass,” he comments.

  “Of course. It’s mine.” I smirk.

  “I would love to hold a woman up against these windows and nail her.” He mimicked the actions in the air.

  “And you won’t be doing that because this is my place.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “Remind me never to ask you to collect my mail if I am out of town.”

  “I will make a mental note of it.”

  “Yeah, I bet you will.”

  The doorbell rang, and I look at Maxwell. No one else knows I live here.

  “I’m not sure—” He has a shit-eating grin on his face, and I shake my head letting him know my dissatisfaction.

  I open the door shocked. “Surprise!”

  Sadie and Ryann’s smiling faces meet me. Unfortunately, I had to force one on my face in return. I hadn’t seen Ryann since the day at Sadie’s. I knew I had let it get out of hand, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t want it.

  “Maxwell invited us over to break in your new place,” Sadie says, not caring what my face looked like.

  Ryann reads it clearly. “Do you want us to come back another time?”

  Sadie had already walked in and welcomed herself around the place, taking it all in.

  “No, it’s fine.” I move my hand in front of the door gesturing her to enter.

  “This is really nice.”

  “Yeah, I got lucky,” I respond. I glance over at Maxwell at the window with Sadie, remembering the conversation we just had. “Get away from my windows!”

  He laughs showing me his hands as if he was proving he was keeping his hands to himself.

>   “If anyone is going to experience something by the windows, it will be me!” I smile.

  Ryann looks confused. “Okay … whatever that was about. I hated to stop by unannounced, or should I say not invited by the owner on the same day you are moving in, but Sadie insisted.”

  “I understand … I have a friend just like that myself,” I respond.

  Maxwell starts the game, and we all sit around the TV to watch it. Ryann sat beside me, and I had reached my arm around her shoulder and kept it there.

  I stared at her a lot tonight and knew she was really the real deal. She was comfortable in every situation, the all-around girl that every guy wants. I honestly loved having her in my place. And I wondered if I would ever have another woman here who I’d like as much as I like her. But the fact remained, no matter how badly I wanted her physically, a part of me still resisted mentally. Or more correctly wouldn’t allow it.

  Before Sadie and Ryann left, Ryann came into the kitchen to help put away any leftover food and clean up. I lean over her to thank her for the help as she smiles. I lean in, but instead of kissing her on the lips, I kiss her on the forehead.

  I confuse her just as much as I confuse myself, but we both need the reminder of our relationship.

  It has been a long time since I was close to another person other than Maxwell. I can’t help but question whether these feelings are okay to have.

  *****

  Ryann

  It had been a week since I last saw Trevor. He had been apparently working nonstop per Maxwell. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t missed seeing him.

  Sadie and I were supposed to meet at Threadgills, but as it had seemed to become the pattern, Maxwell ended up joining us. She gives me the line about how she had already made plans with him and forgot when she said yes to me. Not buying it for a second! I resisted at first since no one likes to be the third wheel, but at the persistence of Sadie, I agreed.

  I will neither deny nor confirm that she said we could maybe get some information on Trevor.

  We’ve talked about it several times, and I wondered about several things from the way he acted. She did as well and understood my confusion. Damn near clawing my clothes off, and then the next time he sees me, he kisses me on my forehead?