An Ordinary Me Page 5
I held my hand over my face. Crap. How much worse can this get? He sees me at my worst constantly. This was the second time in an embarrassing circumstance.
“When did you get here, Garrison?”
“Just a while ago. I didn’t know you were here.” Yeah he did. He heard Cannon ask me at the football game.
“I was inside. I came with Autumn and we were meeting…”
“Let me guess… douche bag?”
“Why are you calling him that?”
“Let’s just say I know more than you do and I wished you had taken my words of advice.”
“I’ve known him for like… forever. He cares about me. We grew up together.”
“He cares? Then why isn’t he out here holding your hair or making sure you are okay?”
“I don’t know…”
Autumn comes to my rescue and not a minute too soon.
“Hey, Garrison. Thanks for helping my girl. She isn’t having a good night.”
“Yeah I see that.”
“Can you help us to Ryan’s car?”
“Sure.”
He wrapped his arm around me and Autumn was on the other side. They dragged me on my tippy toes and got me loaded in the car.
I mumbled, “Thanks, Garrison.”
“You’re welcome, Reese.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead.
I heard Autumn thank him and then the car door shut.
What a nightmare! Well, I officially went to my first high school party and made a complete fool of myself.
Lovely… Ordinary Reese…
~ ~ ~
When I wake up the next day I’m in a complete panic. I couldn’t remember anything and most importantly I couldn’t remember getting home or texting my mom.
My mouth felt like something had died in it and I was remembering quickly why. Autumn was passed out cold next to me snoring louder than a freight train. We were both fully dressed in what we wore last night.
What is that horrible smell? I look down and see dried vomit on my shirt. Disgusting!
“Autumn…”
“Damn it, Reese. I’m still tired, let me sleep.”
“Did you text Mom last night?”
“Yes, I did after I dragged your ass in here and picked up your vomit AGAIN all over my floor.”
“Thank God.”
“I feel like a Mack truck hit me. Never again will I drink.”
“Yeah, I would recommend against that too. You were a real mess. Sick as a dog.”
“It all feels like a nightmare to me. Where is my phone?”
She felt around under her pillow and handed it to me.
There were two missed texts.
Cannon: Where did you go?
Garrison: I hope you made it home okay. Text me.
I lay staring at the ceiling thinking of how to respond. I wished I could erase it all.
Cannon didn’t even know I was gone so I sure wasn’t going to worry about texting him back.
Reese: Sorry, Garrison, I didn’t text you last night. I fell asleep after getting sick. I hope you didn’t worry. Thanks for helping Autumn get me to the car. I was a mess. So embarrassing.
Garrison: I’m glad you are okay. Doesn’t look like alcohol agrees with you. I don’t care for it either.
Reese: Ha ha. Very funny! I’ll never drink again. Not that I wanted to last night anyway. Peer pressure and that game.
Garrison: Been there, done that.
Reese: I feel like hell this morning!
Garrison: Hopefully it will pass. Maybe we can hang out one day…
OMG he is asking me to hang out!!!!
Garrison: Or not?
Garrison: Are you alive?
Reese: I would love to hang out sometime! Sorry I had a call.
Liar.
Garrison: TTYL then.
Reese: TTYL. Thanks again for checking on me.
What made him care? And why? But it did feel good. The guy who was supposed to be my date didn’t even notice I left. Not to mention in the time I went to the bathroom to the time Autumn helped me out he had already moved on to another girl. I’m confused…
Chapter 4
Garrison
Reese is a girl that has made me feel emotions I had never felt. Not only happy emotions but bad ones too. Just seeing her and knowing she has a crush on asswipe kills me. He was born a douche bag and only grew into a bigger one. I knew it and he knew it but for whatever reason half the girl population at Comal High thought he was a God. We were finally seniors and he was known for preying on any girls that looked good, seemed innocent and gave him a chance. The more infatuated they were with him the better. I preferred to call them more his victims then his adventures.
I already was running behind and frustrated. I hate to be late to anything. I had to make a stop at the counselor’s office to check in. They knew what was going on at my house and tried to give me support. Ms. Johnson always looked at me with sad eyes. Not necessarily showing pity but that she couldn’t do anything to change the situation.
“How you doing, Garrison?”
“As good as can be expected.”
“Is your mom doing any better?”
“No, ma’am, but I don’t expect her to be. I only have nine months left till I’m off to college. I can hang in there a little while longer.”
“Have you heard from the colleges where you submitted to? If I recall they were all schools in Texas right?”
“Yes, ma’am, they are.”
“Have you heard from anyone yet?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Well, that’s normal. We submitted them a little late having to wait for the transcripts but I’m sure you won’t have any problems getting in. Just stay out of trouble!”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I stand up to leave and hear her voice.
“Garrison, please let me know if I can help you in anyway. You are a very bright young man and I want to make sure you succeed.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
It’s nice to know there are some people that care for me.
As I leave the office, I see Reese sitting in the courtyard. She looks beautiful as always. There hasn’t been a day in all the time that I have known her that she hasn’t looked perfect to me. Wait what in the hell… NO! I stare out the window and see Cannon with this arm around her. Even after this weekend? Out of all the guys, she has to like Cannon. The anger and rage is filling my body. There is no way I want her with him. Not my Reese. She is mine! Well… no actually she isn’t. I need to cool down. Reese is not mine. She has no clue as to how I feel about her.
I see her get up and walk towards the door and I hightail it out of there. I can’t deal with this right now.
Reese
I get up from my seat in the courtyard to head into the school when Cannon came up to me apologizing, trying to put his arm around me to show me attention. Really? I can’t forgive him so quickly after how he acted at the party. I’m starting to see through the B.S. that he is trying to convince me of. I’m beginning to think everything Garrison said was true.
Sitting at the lunch table I realize I hadn’t seen Garrison yet today. I wonder where he has been. I wanted to thank him personally for helping to take care of me at the hideous party. I was a mess. He has now seen me at my worst twice and still wants to talk to me. That says something about him for sure!
Garrison was still someone I could not get my mind off of. He was a drummer and seemed so passionate. If I knew I was anywhere close to Garrison, I had to take a look to see him even if I pretended not to. He always had on his t-shirts, that fit his chest firmly, blue jeans and chucks. His shirt was never tucked in. His sloppiness looked like it was planned almost a perfect constructed style with probably little effort on his part. After observing him any chance I got I came to recognize he would wear a certain sweatshirt more often than not. I couldn't help but hope just maybe one day I could wear it when I was cold to smell him. I had gotten a whiff of his scent sev
eral times now, and he had a distinct smell that only belonged to him.
Garrison was a loner. I knew he had friends because he was never alone but he was comfortable just being. He didn’t seem to have something to prove like Cannon did. Cannon was always putting on a show in case someone was looking and he had to impress his audience. Garrison on the other hand, seemed to care less about what others thought and seemed to zone out with this headphones in his ears tapping on whatever he was holding or on the table. Garrison didn’t seem to care what others thought of him whereas Cannon was always the leader. The “hey, look at me” guy.
I don’t know how I could like two polar opposites.
Garrison
I spend two Saturdays a month doing what no other teen has to do. I check in at noon, have to fill out paperwork (the same paperwork every time I am here), show three proofs of ID and wait, wait, and wait in a cold, white room until my dad is called down. I observe all the other people waiting their turn to see their loved ones. I notice the security doors have glass that has been busted no doubt from a fight or a struggle. Being here was unpredictable. Sometimes it went as it should by the book others a fight would break out causing the whole place to go on lockdown.
Talking about being paranoid about your surroundings, when you were at a Federal Corrections Institution AKA prison, you watched everything around you.
I come here strictly out of obligation and honestly as a promise to my aunt. She is my father’s sister and sends money to him to get the essentials out of duty to her mother. She had promised her she would always make sure he was taken care of. She has never been here to see him as she says, ‘She might slap him.’ I know it hurts her that he has made these choices. Me, it doesn’t hurt me to see my father here in his tan prison uniform with a number identifying who he was. On the contrary, I don’t hurt for him. I am pissed at him. I don’t understand it and never will. How many teens can say their dad was a drug dealer? He dealt all kinds of illegal drugs right out of our home. He grew and cooked them up right in our kitchen. You would be shocked to know how many people bought from him. Once I saw a face I never forgot it. I could sit at a football game and point out the various students or parents that did business with my father.
To me, at sixteen, I understood it all. Why couldn’t adults? My father and I pretty much had the same conversation every time I came to visit. After they call my name saying I could see my dad, I would go and sit in a large room filled with other loved ones. They cried over missing their relative in prison, but for me I was here out of obligation not love or the void of my father. I can’t miss something I have never had. Believe it or not my life is easier with him here, behind bars.
“Hi, son.”
“Hi, Dad.”
I sat in silence with lots of thoughts in my head but not really any that I cared to get out. You can’t cause a scene like that in a place like this. I’ve seen plenty of fights here, and it is not like a fight at school. These were criminals serving time in federal prison, and I can pretty much sum up their respect for the place. Zero! They would get away with what they could.
There were a few times Dad wanted me to contact or send a letter to one of his friends, but I refused. If it had anything to do with drugs I wasn’t going to have any part of it.
“I know your only coming here since your aunt is sending you.”
“Yes, sir.”
“How is school?”
“Fine.”
“How is the drumming?”
He would ask me these questions as if he really cared. Yeah right.
“Good.”
“How is your mom?”
“How do you think she is?”
I would stand up ready to leave. He would stand to try to hug me, and I would pull away right before the prison guard would order him to step away. Definitely, not an ordinary Saturday.
Chapter 5
Garrison
Our band gig at the county carnival was for two hours on opening night. I was pretty stoked about it. It was a huge event for New Braunfels, a town that had more cattle than people.
Music was the only thing that made my mind stop. I had no thoughts running through it other than the next set of notes I had to play. We only got this event because Dylan’s aunt organized it. We were going to play the two hours then hang out at the carnival. I loved a good Ferris wheel ride. I loved to look out and see all the people that looked like ants so minuscule.
I was not three minutes into the second song when I looked out in the audience and saw her. Reese. She was dressed in a flannel shirt tied around her waist and denim shorts. She was bopping around to the music and looked like she was really enjoying it. She had the rhythm down made to dance, unlike me. I had seen her dance several times on the school dance team and always zeroed in on her. It was as if watching her dancing and the way her hips were moving to our beat locked me in a trance I couldn’t pull away from.
When the song ended I looked up to find where she was, and she was staring right at me. I was caught staring at her and couldn’t turn away. I rubbed my hand through my hair and smiled. She smiled back. Dylan announced the next song, and I started as she clapped and hollered. I continued drumming through the song and any free moment I had I looked out at her to see if she was still there listening. It gave me a high that I had never felt.
She was one beautiful girl who kept reeling me in. I knew I couldn’t possibly have her though. She was too good for me. I knew any interest she had in me, no matter how much she might like me once she knew where I came from that would all change. I wasn’t the normal senior guy with a normal family life. I was ashamed but I also knew I was what I was. But that didn’t change the fact I was watching her dance to our music, her long brown hair flowing down her back.
Our set ended at nine thirty and I walked over to the concessions to get a drink. I got a swig out of my water when Autumn and Reese walked up with Dylan.
“Look who came to see us play, Garrison. He’s a badass drummer in case you didn’t notice.”
Reese smiled at me. “That I already knew.”
“Ditto.” Autumn just shook her head agreeing. She looked like she was searching for someone as we were standing there.
“You’re awesome on the drums.” Reese smiled at me.
“Thanks! I love to play.”
“It shows.”
Autumn interrupts the silence. “Reese, I’ll be right back. I gotta go look for someone.”
“K, I’ll wait here.”
The place was packed, and I could see she really had no interest in going back through the crowd she just came through.
We leaned up against the wall by the concession stand and made small talk.
The feelings I felt for Reese continued to accelerate. Just the sound of her voice got me excited. I had to put my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching out. I knew a disaster when I saw one and she was screaming it. I’m feeling this pull to her that’s so intense. I don’t understand what I was feeling, but it was overwhelming and consuming my thoughts. I had a desire for her, and frankly, I hadn’t had a desire for anything in my life like I had for her.
“So you wanna go for a ride? I wanted to at least ride the Ferris wheel before I left tonight.”
“I would love to.”
We walked towards the Ferris wheel and got in the line. I took every opportunity I could to take a look at her. She was a little shorter than me. Her shorts were short and she had incredible, long legs. Her dancing had done her good. Her long brown hair was slightly wavy, not sure if that was on purpose or from the wind tonight. I felt comfortable with her, more comfortable than I usually do with a girl. Her eyes were brown and wide, and they looked honest, something that wasn’t common.
When we got to the front of the line, she grabbed for my hand naturally and pulled me towards the cart where the carnie was waiting for us with the little door open. Reese grabbing for my hand threw me off and I almost tripped. Way to look like a dumbass, Garrison. It’s not l
ike you have never held a girl’s hand before. She tried to pull back and let go but I held on tight. I knew the truth about myself but I also knew I wanted to hold her hand and feel her close to me. When we got in our seats, I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to me. My adrenaline was still high from the band’s performance, and that’s the only thing that could account for my ignorance. I leaned in and took a smell of her hair making a memory of what she smelled like knowing she was never going to be mine.